Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.  And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great. – Job 2:11-13 ESV

Warrior;

The world doesn’t remember how we start, but it focuses on how we ended!  In the Bible King Saul started well, and he ended poorly!  Solomon started well and he ended poorly!  The Apostle Paul started poorly, but her ended well.  King Manasseh started poorly but ended well. These three friends of Job started well, they ended poorly! Did you read the empathy and compassion they first approached Job with; they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great’. Here is where they go quickly, after their self-righteous patience wore off. It is written: Then Job spoke again: “I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! Won’t you ever stop blowing hot air? What makes you keep on talking? I could say the same things if you were in my place. I could spout off criticism and shake my head at you. But if it were me, I would encourage you. I would try to take away your grief. Instead, I suffer if I defend myself, and I suffer no less if I refuse to speak.” (Job 16:1-5) Even before chapter 16, Job realized he has some friends like you and I do- who are better than you, holier than you and their path, is to be your path- their way to do things must become YOUR WAY to do things- but what about YAHWEH?  It is written: “Look, I have seen all this with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears, and now I understand. I know as much as you do. You are no better than I am. As for me, I would speak directly to Almighty. I want to argue my case with God himself. As for you, you smear me with lies. As physicians, you are worthless quacks. If only you could be silent! That’s the wisest thing you could do. Listen to my charge; pay attention to my arguments. (Job 13:1-6) Even though Job’s friends mean well, they are not encouraging Job at all- they are making Job feel worse!

Leader, if we are ever to meet God’s standard of loving, forgiving and  long suffering, then we need to learn from the good and the bad, the right and the wrong of what is written.  Job’s friends didn’t fail because they were bad people. They failed because they were good people with bad assumptions. As Leaders we impact people.  There are consequences for our choices, our instruction and our example. As leaders, we ‘set the tone’, create a ‘standard’.  Consider this: Suffering reveals the quality of leadership, Counsel reveals the character of leadership, Job’s friends reveal the pitfalls of leadership. We must remember that every word we utter accomplishes something.  The right words at the right time can change someone’s life.  However, the wrong words, at the right time- with their permission- can destroy a person, their hope, their drive, their WILL TO GO ON! This is an important lesson for any leader who is in the business of harvesting, growing and preparing people for the Kingdom of God.  Not everything in the Bible was written to us, but everything is written for us!  It is profitable, for many things- not just reproofing people. Many people are ready to sling around scripture, so they sound holier than thou!  Condemning people and putting more of a burden on them, making it seem impossible to ever be ‘ENOUGH’ to be considered a child of God. They make it WORKS BASED- if you would just DO MORE, then you would be worthy of my friendship, of entrance into the Kingdom, of God- DO MORE, be better! Maybe the counselor might want to be quiet and read some scripture to themselves.  It is written: “For by grace you have been saved through faith… not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His mercy. For all have sinned… and are justified by His grace as a gift.  “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5, Romans 3:23-24, Romans 8:1) We are NOT saved BY OUR WORKS! Not by your goodness. Not by your effort. Not by your performance. NOT by your usage of scripture as a GUILT CUDGEL—we are saved by HIS MERCY!

Conduit, from this story that was written FOR US, we can learn: The Three Leadership Errors.  As a counselor, as a leader of leaders, this woke me up and had me consider where I employ the Three Leadership Errors whether conscious or unconscious, whether intentionally or ignorantly. Each one of Job’s ‘friends’ shows us an error that we can learn from to stop the cycle of SPIRITUAL ABUSE.  Eliphaz; The Experience Trap. This Error says, “My story explains your story.” This is the same reason that there are more Teaching disabilities than Learning disabilities. Teachers are teaching how they want to learn- but those students are not YOU! This error is caused by the individual who: Leads from visions, intuition, and personal history, who assumes their experience is universal, speaks before listening. The Law of Causality, Chain of Causation tells us everything has a consequence. The Leadership Consequence of this choice: Experience becomes arrogance when it becomes the only lens. Bildad; The System Trap. This Error says: “The rules explain everything.” This error is caused by someone who Leads from doctrine, tradition, and formulas; they apply theology mechanically; Have no category for the unknown, or mystery. Leadership Consequence: Systems crush people when compassion is absent. Zophar; The Certainty Trap. This Error says: “I already know the truth about you.” This error is created by the person who leads from dogmatism, who speaks with moral superiority, and they assume guilt without evidence. The Leadership Consequence: Certainty without empathy becomes cruelty disguised as conviction. If we contrast Job’s friends with Job’s Savior we see a better way, YAHWEH! Job’s friends sat with Job for seven days, at the beginning, the peak of their time together- Jesus sits in our suffering. Notice Job’s friend spoke AT HIM- Jesus speaks to us, and for us. The Three assumed guilt- Jesus is LOVE, and he assumes COMPASSION.  Job’s friends thought they were defending God- but Jesus reveals God and His long suffering! Here is an effective Christological Leadership principle: Christlike counsel is presence before answers, compassion before correction, and humility before theology. It is time to stop being HOLIER than thou and humble yourself before the mighty hand of God and quit slapping people with your cudgel called the Bible.  Let us be more CHRIST like and less like our flesh! Remember; when people are suffering, they don’t need a judge, a system, or a certainty machine. They need a presence. Be the presence that brings HIS PRESENCE and HIS PEACE.” Know Jesus, know peace. NO JESUS, NO PEACE!